Heatherina

Wilting

Heat is not my friend. Before I got sick, I absolutely loved tropical weather. I had no problem being on an island walking around in the balmy 95-degree weather. I loved the feeling of getting really hot and then going into a cool air-conditioned room or jumping in the cold ocean. Not anymore.

Now I just can’t win. When I’m in the heat, I literally am like a flower that starts to wilt. First, I start sweating profusely, which actually isn’t unusual because I’m always sweating from the hot flashes I get. But I start sweating and then I start to get a headache. Then my stomach will start to churn and I get very nauseous. Once that happens, I usually get a little anxious, especially if I’m not at home. If I can’t find a cool place to sit when I start getting nauseous, I will get really dizzy. Once the dizziness hits, I have no choice but to find somewhere to rest or I will pass out. My knees will give out and I will fall down.

So, you would think that my best friend would be an air conditioner. But, no. I’ve never really liked air conditioning even though I acknowledge that it is necessary sometimes, particularly in the sweltering heat of NYC summers. But one of the side effects of the chemo drugs I’m on is this type of neuropathy that induces a strong sensitivity to cold, I call it the freezing syndrome. If I’m in the air conditioning for too long I will start to lose feeling in the tips of my extremities. I also can’t have cold drinks because my mouth and throat will literally freeze shut. I had the unfortunate experience a couple of weeks ago of being in a very cold grocery store and I had to leave because as I breathed in the cold air, my airway started to freeze and constrict. It started in my nose and slowly traveled down my throat and into my chest until I couldn’t take a breath any longer. So I had to go outside where it was warm and it took about 20 minutes to feel normal again.

Life in my apartment right now is a constant balancing act. I always have a fan on me and I have towels and rags that I keep nearby for the schvitzing fits. I usually have the air conditioner on in my room and go in there for 20 minute periods to cool off. Then I’m usually starting to get cold, so I go back into the heat of the living room. Until I start to get hot and nauseous and then it’s back into the air again. It is certainly annoying though.